Dear Gracie
If you're looking for some practical, biblically based advice, look no farther than Dear Gracie. She'll share sound advice for today's contemporary issues. Submit your question today, or read her column and glean from advice given to others.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him" (James 1:5).
Topics
Friends & Relationships | Health | Marriage & Family | Spiritual Walk
Health
Dear Gracie,
I had a question regarding christianity and mental illness/chemical imbalances. This is an issue I don't really see addressed by the christian community. I've researched it, but have not found any helpful or biblical insights.
What do you say to a woman who is married to a christian man, diagnosed with a chemical imbalance/inherent mental issue? Do you agree with medication and psychological counseling (many christians say 'psychological counseling'is too "me" centric and contrary to christianity, but pastoral counseling never seems to address or resolve issues)? What if it is all unsuccessful? Is divorce ever an option?
Do you think think mental imbalances can be fodder for more spiritual attacks and oppression?
Sorry, for so many questions...but I hope and would so appreciate, if you could shed some light and wisdom on the subject for me.
Thank you very kindly,
Wondering About Depression
Submitted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 | Comments (0) | Submit a Comment
Dear Wondering About Depression:
From a biblical perspective, we are comprised of mind, body and spirit. A christian can experience physical illness, mental illness, or spiritual illness. If a person has been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance by a qualified professional, by all means he should seek the appropriate care including medication and counseling. Ideally, the psychologist or psychiatrist would be trained in biblical counseling as well. There are qualified Christian practitioners in both fields.
In no way should a lay-person attempt to dissuade a person from complying with prescribed treatment. Think of chemical imbalances in the brain as you would think of chemical imbalance in the body. Diabetes is a good example. A diabetic may need insulin and counseling on proper nutrition. Imagine if well-meaning, non-medical individuals started recommending the person not take their insulin. That would definitely not be in the best interest of the patient. Though there are many psychiatrists who follow a "me-centered" approach to life, there are many who do not. Prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit should guide the selection of a practitioner. If there is an expert in a certain field of medicine who is not a Christian, the professional may still be the Lord's choice to bring healing. Each person must prayerfully make that decision, hopefully with the support of the spouse.
If you would like additional information on the topic, Focus on the Family has a vast list of references addressing various forms of depression in the Christian. Archived questions and answers range from depression in teens to bi-polar persons who refuse to follow medical and psychiatric protocol.
Is mental illness alone cause for biblical divorce? No. There may be a need to set boundaries with the health care providers, and the path may be difficult. Just as physical paralysis is not a cause for divorce, mental illness alone is not cause for divorce.
Can mental illness open a pathway to oppression? Certainly. Since we are a blend of mind, body, and spirit, a depressed mind can lead to poor physical health, and poor habits in maintaining our walk with the Lord, thus making us vulnerable to oppression. Likewise an ill body can bring down the mind and spirit. And, as you might conclude, sin or spiritual illness, can bring negative consequences in physical health and mental well-being.
We are vastly complex beings, fearfully and wonderfully made. This is just the tip of the ice-berg and every situation is highly individual. I encourage you to pray for your friend and her husband and to encourage them to embark on this journey together, clinging tightly to one another and to Christ.
Blessings to you as you seek to understand,
Gracie
Dear Gracie,
When I was a little girl, I would have these very frightening dreams. I would be half awake and could see everything around me, but I could not move. I would say the LORD'S prayer to fully awaken myself and would be very afraid to go back to sleep. Later, as a teen I suffered with anxiety and depression. I finally turned my life to God and things REALLY did change, so I know that He heals. Lately, however, I have been feeling very low. I moved far from my family with my husband and baby. My little one is 4 years old, and is in another state for a month. My husband went away on training so I was feeling very lonely and sad. I was also becoming very irritated with my husband, even when he was gone all I wanted was to have him home! I began worrying about my little girl and find myself constantly checking on her at ALL times! My doctor finally prescribed an antidepressant and after taking only one, I have had two very scary panic attacks that resulted in me waking up at 3am after a seriously disturbing dream. I dreamt that someone was trying to hurt me and I awoke feeling scared, and for a second, thinking that it was real! I don't want to worry anymore about my daughter and panic about her well-being! I don't want to cause issues in my marriage. I hate that I go through a moment of not trusting my husband, even though I know that he would not and is not doing anything to hurt our relationship. I don't want to have to take prescription drugs, especially when they are only doing more harm than good! I just want God to heal my mind and touch my soul like He did when I was just a girl. I know it may sound crazy, but I feel that something is just picking on me, or am I unknowingly doing it to myself? If so, how can I stop it?
God Bless,
Little Girl All Over Again
Submitted on Tuesday, August 05, 2008 | Comments (0) | Submit a Comment
Dear Little Girl All Over Again:
First let me commend you on stepping forward and voicing your battle. Many women face similar trials, but suffer in silence not reaching out to others for help.
As human beings, we are composed of body, mind and spirit. In order for these three parts to work in harmony, all three need to be functioning in a healthy manner. If our spiritual life is lackluster it can affect our mind and body. Likewise if our mind is filled with anxious, worried, and negative thoughts, it can affect our spiritual life and our physical health. If our physical health is suffering from any variety of imbalances including lack of exercise, poor diet, chemical imbalances, hormonal changes etc., that can have an effect on our minds and our spiritual life.
It appears from your letter that you are experiencing effects in all three arenas; mind, body and spirit. It can take time to unravel the puzzle of which came first – the chicken or the egg. In the mean time, action is needed to get all three elements on the road to better health. Here is a general action plan to get things started:
1. Consult a pastor or biblical counselor for input and possible cooperation with a physician regarding medication for your symptoms of anxiety and depression.
2. If your primary care physician has seen fit to prescribe medication, but the medication has negative side effects, you may want to seek the advice of a psychiatrist to refine the prescription process. There are numerous medications for anxiety and depression all with different efficacy and side effects. Psychiatrists specialize in these medications and are highly knowledgeable about their effects. Be sure to inquire before the appointment to make sure the psychiatrist is willing to cooperate with a biblically based counseling approach.
3. Begin to fellowship with a small group immediately. Being far away from family, having your husband gone, and your little one out of town can bring on profound feelings of loneliness. Calvary offers small home fellowship groups that you can join immediately, and hopefully you and your husband can continue to attend when he returns to town. If you both attend, then there will be a sense of family and continuity when your husband needs to travel. The Bible is full of encouragement to fellowship with other believers and is pointed out as a practice of the early church in the book of Acts. The women’s ministry will be resuming their Bible study this fall and they offer child-care for the morning study. This is another excellent opportunity for fellowship in small groups.
4. Immediately begin a practical plan to renew your mind. Counseling and medical advice may take some time, but you may immediately begin the process of taking your thoughts captive.
Eph 4:23 “and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.”
Rom 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
The obvious question is how to go about renewing your mind? The answer is through submersing yourself in God’s word. Ephesians 6:11 - 18 instructs us in battle and verse 17 - 18 specifically says, “…and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; (18) praying always…”
This means you will need to select scriptures to memorize and turn into prayers. There are many helpful resources online and in Christian bookstores to get you on your path, but in the mean time, start with the following verses:
Psalm 37: 1-5
Luke 12:22-30
Romans 8:28
Acts 27:21-25
Philippians 4:6-8
Ephesians 6: 11-18
Proverbs 4:23
Psalm 34 (read the whole Psalm)
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think on these things.”
Write down all of the above scriptures on note cards, carry them with you and place them by your bed at night. When you begin to panic, think bad thoughts about your husband, or awake from a nightmare, immediately grab your scripture cards and begin reading them. Push the old thought out of your mind with the word of God. Thinking “nice thoughts” is not the strategy, replacing negative thoughts with God’s Word is the critical part. Any time you try to push away a negative thought, you must replace the thought with something else or the negative thought simply returns. The most powerful “something else” is God’s word. If you have your cards with you, you can read one or several virtually anywhere; in the grocery store, at a stop light, or quickly in the middle of the night. Eventually, these verses will saturate your mind and you will branch out to other verses as well.
5. I’m sure you are keeping all of this in prayer. Do not stop. Ask the Lord for His wisdom and to guide you to supportive believers who can help you walk through this season. He will.
All of this may sound like a lot to tackle, but you sound like someone who really is motivated to get results and I have faith that you will begin to act immediately. I’m certain there are women reading this who have walked in your shoes and will pray for you as I have.
Blessings to you as the Lord guides you to renewed health in mind, body and spirit,
Gracie
Dear Gracie,
Please pray for me. I have some serious health issues including the need to lose 40 pounds(which will help some of the problems). I NEED/WANT to get healthy and totaly in God's will. I want to have energy and health back and be out in the world bringing the lost to the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus. Please help me with prayer support. I am so tired of being sick and uncomfortable with no energy. I missed work again yesterday (without pay), and I believe most of it's the weight issues. I have difficulty breathing at times.
God Bless
Love In Christ,
Cheryl
Submitted on Tuesday, May 06, 2008 | Comments (0) | Submit a Comment
Dear Cheryl,
I have and will pray for you and your effort to loose weight and regain your health. Your letter didn’t indicate if you have seen a physician regarding your health issues and desire to lose weight. If you have not done so yet, let me strongly encourage you to do so immediately so you can be tested for disease states (i.e. low thyroid etc) that may be interfering with your efforts.
Also, most hospitals offer dietician services at very reasonable rates, or if prescribed by a physician, the fee may be covered by insurance. There are many wonderful resources to turn to for sound nutritional advice and an exercise program that fits your fitness level. Some rehabilitation facilities have warm pools where the general public can exercise by walking in the warm water, or using resistance bands while supported by the water. The warm pools are particularly beneficial for individuals with negative physical effects from cold temperatures.
In addition to offering this to the Lord in prayer and asking for His Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and self control, ask Him to guide you to the right experts to help you with your quest.
Weight issues have become epidemic in our country and we are confronted countless times a day with temptation, please find someone to encourage you, keep you accountable and moving forward with your plan.
God bless you and may He guide you in your journey of weight loss and better health. I pray your journey would inspire others to lean on God’s strength while traveling on their own journey toward health.
To His glory and your health!
Gracie